Rain again 02-06-2014

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  Mirrors

 Dear blog, I haven't met you for a long time. Actually, I haven't written anything. 

 This afternoon, SG rained again, harshly, violently like a storm in my heart. 

 I like when it rains heavily enough to put on my baggy raincoat. It is great because I feel like I am so small. As if I was covered in an insensitive interweaving line of people. I like to see the raindrops flying gently on the lampposts. Driving at night when the city was going to sleep in silence, surrounded by crowded people, I remember I used to sit on the back of the motorbike, hugging him, looking at the streets and people rushing to go back and forth fading away after my glasses.

I used to hate the rain very much. I hate raining because it blurs the glasses that I love so much. I hate to see people jostle and hear the car horn in the street. The heart suddenly felt nostalgia thinking of when my dad came to school to take me home, under the rainy season like that, I sat behind him, gnawing on the wet cake and chattering the story with him. And I love you more, like I love you now, under the rain, driving a dozen kilometers to take me home.

 Then the rainy season kept lasting and suddenly ended making me feel regretful. I regret that I didn't have many occasions to take dad home when the rain came. I was sorry I didn't care for dad, for him. I only care about myself, too selfish, right? I forgot to ask how dad was at work, how tired he was. I'm sorry that the hustle of the flow of people in the rain has swept away so fast just like our lives. I regretted that I didn't hug him tightly, and shared with him the chaos of life. Then when the sunny season returns, I know how to love and cherish the days of being with someone.

 The rain this afternoon reminded me one more thing about how I am present in life. I do not know whether the way I live is different from others, I do not know if is there anything wrong with the purpose and the way I am going ahead... ... but I still go and nestle with people because unconsciously I understand that there is no need to open up with all. I still think to live my own life like before, hide and just do what I should do most enthusiastically, as well as life under that raincoat, safe and warm ...

 It was raining today...



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